Fri 18 Sep 2009
**** are the New Vampires
Posted by Chris under Sweet Nonsense, The Industry
[34] Comments
We’ve all heard
the speculation as to what sort of creature will become the next vampire or new “it” creature in books, film, TV shows, and ironic indie band names. Will it be werewolves? Zombies? Fallen angels? Romances featuring all these creatures are forthcoming in children’s lit, and they’ll be fighting, clawing, and howling for top billing on bookshelves everywhere.
Rather than speculate which, if any, of these creatures will take the lead and become the new hot, brooding creature of tomorrow, I thought it might be fun to list the least likely monster/creature/beast of lore to next capture the hearts and pocketbooks of countless swooning fans.
CHECK HERE for the winners.
34 Responses to “ **** are the New Vampires ”
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September 18th, 2009 at 10:29 am[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by kathleenfoucart. kathleenfoucart said: RT @UpstartCrowLit Now on the Upstart Crow blog: **** are the New Vampires (http://tinyurl.com/nb7kms) [...]
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September 20th, 2009 at 12:40 pm[...] other day, I mused over which creature was the least likely to become the next vampire. There were some great guesses, including Lovecraftian Monster Gods, rabid hedgehogs, 17 year [...]
September 18th, 2009 at 10:22 am
Lerprechauns.
They were pretty big for a while when I was growing up, but I think they’ve packed up with their pot o gold and moved to safer ground…
September 18th, 2009 at 10:26 am
Lovecraftian monster gods.
September 18th, 2009 at 10:27 am
I am officially starting a petition to have Catholic School Nuns be the New Vampires. I’d also like to nominate a couple of my ex’s.
September 18th, 2009 at 10:36 am
Rabid hedgehogs.
September 18th, 2009 at 10:51 am
IRS agents. >.>
September 18th, 2009 at 11:04 am
Intestinal bacteria. Or chupacabras.
Here’s a related question (to angels, not chupacabras):
Let’s say someone is working on, say, an angel novel (though not a romance). And that someone knows it will take a few months yet to get it ready for submission (though she is finishing a revision this weekend–snap!).
Is that someone sort of screwed because the thing she started working on almost a year ago has become trendy?
September 18th, 2009 at 11:14 am
Tribbles. Nothing says hot and brooding like a thing with no mouth, legs, or eyes which reproduces asexually like mad. That’s the trouble with tribbles, though. They may possibly be just too sexy.
September 18th, 2009 at 11:15 am
@Martha I’d say that someone should defer to his or her agent for a final ruling, but I can throw in my two cents: I recently had an editor say to me, through Twitter, “Hate to be trendy, but if you have a fallen angel book, we’re looking.”
In the same way I don’t advise chasing trends, I certainly wouldn’t say to scrap a legitimate project just because it may soon become trendy. We all thought Vampires would be dead (ha-ha) by now, and they’re still around. So I wouldn’t say to throw something away just because others are doing it, too. Unless it’s something silly, like wearing a skort.
September 18th, 2009 at 11:32 am
Jesus?
September 18th, 2009 at 11:35 am
@Chris, really? Crud, I won’t be able to change until I get home late tonight.
September 18th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
An army of Jack Frost clones, attacking with their Paintbrushes of Doom.
September 18th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
The Creature from the Black Lagoon. He’s just too much of a horndog.
September 18th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
1 – Weremaggots (well… unless they sparkle)
2 – Chester Cheetah (the mascot for Cheetos)
3 – H.R. Pufnstuf (though I could see Wichiepoo becoming big)
September 18th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
17 year cicadas?
September 18th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
So, what you’re saying is to do a find and replace switching out “vampire” with “fallen angels”?
September 18th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
I vote for a band of Snuggie-wearing little old ladies on Hoveround motorized scooters armed with hard candies and prune juice.
That, or an army of Tickle-Me-Elmo-wielding teething toddlers who haven’t napped in ten days. (Oh, sorry … I just happen to live with one of those, and believe me, they are extremely scary …)
September 18th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Literary agents.
September 18th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Hermaphrodites (in the mythological sense). Hard to swoon over an asexual creature.
September 18th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Wendy, that is fantastic! I’m voting for tribbles.
September 18th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Muppets?
September 18th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
I’m going with the hairy frogfish. I’d also add aardvarks because they’d always have to stop and spell their name for people and explain what they are. I guess if they ate aunts instead of ants they’d be scarier… but they don’t!
September 18th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
naked-mole rat?
the devil?
September 18th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Alien teenagers from outer space who are spiritual but not religious. Oh, and they’re gorgeous, natch. They’ve always got that far-off look in their three, soulful eyes.
September 18th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Least likely? Hmmm….
It’d have to be Rainbow Brite. Unless her smile is just to sparkly and frightens the kiddies to death, which is possible.
September 18th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
Vamped, shape-shifting, fairy-winged agents! Definitely not “it”!
September 18th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
“His simmering glare reached me from across the room. His dark eyes gleamed beneath his silver white brows, sending shivers up my spine… His skin as blue as the sky, I found myself drawn to him. With the effort as casual as a breath… he removed the white cap from his head, and said in a silky voice, “Hello, they call me Papa Smurf… and who might you be?” ”
>from a book I haven’t written….. yet.
September 18th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
The Yeti . . . think of the potential for sexual tension.
sf
September 18th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
You obviously missed Maggie Stiefvater’s announcement that KRAKEN are the new vampire.
Yes. They are.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwM6uoQAh50
September 18th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
Or Smurfs.
September 18th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
The Wuzzles. They always had that weird half breed relationship going on. But they just don’t have the sexy factor to be the next vampires.
September 18th, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Squirrels. I mean…like my young daughter once pointed out, “they like giving each other piggy back rides!”
(Though I like Tribbles, too.)
September 19th, 2009 at 12:38 am
oooo I vote Tribbles